Prisoners of Love Bridal Shower

I recently had the honor of hosting a bridal shower for my friend.  She works as a Victim Advocate and is marrying an Assistant Prosecuting Attorney.  So, these are two people who have dedicated their careers to catching criminals and getting justice for victims of crime.  I thought a law enforcement themed bridal shower would be pretty fun, especially since almost everyone attending the shower would be their co-workers.  The official theme of the shower was "Prisoners of Love".  We had a blast!

The Invitation-  As the followers of this blog know, I am a big fan of creating a PDF or image file and emailing the invitation to guests.  This saves paper and maintains the integrity of your design.  If this had been a more formal shower, I would have printed out the invitations and mailed them, but as we all work in the same office, email was the perfect way to get the word out.  The benefit of the image file was that I could also print a couple color copies to hang in the office as a reminder.

 

The Decor - To go along with the theme - basically a mix of love and crime - I incorporated the colors from the invite, turquoise and red, to come up with a centerpiece.  All the tables had red roses in a turquoise vase surrounded by handcuffs or shackles (that the probation department kindly let me borrow for the afternoon!) 

 

The Activity - The guest of honor wanted NO GAMES.  And, of course, I listened to the bride-to-be!  But we had to have something fun to pass the time and make this more than just a luncheon with presents.   It was decided to have a photo booth.  I'd seen photo booths at weddings, run by professionals, but as this was a lower-budget affair, the co-host and I created our own photo booth with a twist.  We made a WANTED poster out of a cardboard display board.  I found a bunch of crimes - some from the Ohio Revised Code that were actual crimes, and some that we just made up for fun.  The "crimes" people could choose from were: Assaulting a Police Horse, Running an Illegal Gambling Ring, Hoarding Fabulous Shoes, Doing the "Footloose" Dance in a Public Place, Swearing in Front of Women and Children, Public Intoxication, Misuse of a Public Transportation System, Driving Too Slowly, Stealing Doug's (the groom's) Heart, etc.  Actually, at the shower, the bride-to-be started looking through the crimes and assigned them to different people, which in itself was pretty funny.  Plenty of props were around so people could be as silly as they wanted to be.

 

The Bonus - I edited all the photos from the shower and put them in an album for the bride as a keepsake of the day.  I also posted all the photos on an online site so that all the guests could laugh at the photos.  I filtered some photos in sepia tone or black and white so they would look more old-timey. 

Inexpensive (but Thoughtful!) Wedding Favors

Favors are a great way to let guests know that you appreciate their love and support on your wedding day.  And let’s be honest about the other reason brides like to provide favors – they can make your tables look really cute!  But there is no need to spend a fortune on wedding favors.  I mean, you are already providing entertainment, feeding these people, and probably offering alcohol. 

The point of this post is to give the brides-to-be some suggestions for sweet favors that won't break the budget.  I have to preface this list by saying that FOOD is probably the most guest-preferred wedding favor.  You would think that people would get enough food at the reception, but no.  I work at weddings almost every weekend and everyone always consumes their edible favors practically the moment they sit down.  (And if for some reason they don’t eat their favors and leave them on the table, the catering staff pockets them after everyone leaves.)

Here's one of 200 cookies I made for a friend's wedding, featuring the couples' initials.  

They weren't "JK" about their love.  Photo by Sandy Chang

CHEAP, THOUGHTFUL, and CUTE WEDDING FAVORS

1. A small pack of recipe cards containing family recipes from the bride’s side and the groom’s side of the family. You only need to make one packet per family, instead of one per person.  Use your wedding colors in your paper choices, and maybe the same font you used for your invitations and/or place cards.

2. Homemade cookie or chocolate covered pretzel in a glassine bag, tied with a ribbon.  Label it if you want to: “How Sweet of you to come to our wedding.”  Note that personalized, individually iced cookies take A LOT more time and effort than making a batch of bar or ball cookies.  And iced cookies don’t freeze as well, so you probably need to make them no more than a few days before the wedding.  So, factor that into your decision about what type to make.  

3. A pack of seeds, and label it with a fitting verse and your wedding date.  I like this quotation: "All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today." - Chinese Proverb.  How appropriate for a wedding, right?

4. A Christmas ornament (if a late fall/December wedding).  If you have a long engagement, buy the ornaments right after Christmas for the best deals.

5. Make a donation in honor of your guests to a charity that is close to your heart.  Don’t pick a controversial charity, such as to a specific political party. 

6. A baggie of candy in your wedding colors, tied with a neat bow.

7. A glass votive holder with a candle.  You can get the votives and holders in bulk online inexpensively.  For personalization, get a pack of sticker labels from the office supply store.  Type a short note of thanks, along with your names and wedding date in a pretty font and print it on all the labels. Cut a length of ribbon in your wedding color and wrap it around the candle holder.  Hold the ribbon in place with one of the personalized sticker labels. 

8. Small potted plants – one for each couple/family.  BONUS – they double as the centerpiece.  You might include a tag that explains the meaning of the flower you chose. 

9. A gorgeous apple with a paper flag that says "You are the apple of my eye" attached to the stem.

10. Lip balm personalized to say "Always kiss me goodnight" or even just "XOXOXO"

Wedding Colors - Tips, Trends, and Choices

Picking your wedding colors?  It's kind of a big thing, isn't it?  Color has to be decided for the bridesmaid dresses, the flowers, the napkins, cake, and the invitations, among other things.  Much has changed since your mother made your father wear a powder blue tuxedo to their 1976 wedding.  Read on.

The Basics of Wedding Color

Pick a color scheme and stick with it.  Receptions look amazing when things are coordinated.  (Note, coordinated is not the same as "matchy-matchy."  Don't go totally overboard making things match.)

There are NO rules on how many colors you can have for your wedding.  Go monochromatic, or have the whole rainbow.  It’s entirely up to you.  Also, color can be a focal point, or it can be completely understated.  Either option can be totally beautiful. 

The elusive "Understated Multi-color Look".  So beautiful!

I would advise that you keep some white or ivory or some muted color in the decoration scheme.  Some brides have brightly colored or black tablecloths and it ends up looking like a prom instead of a wedding. (Unless "Enchantment Under the Sea" is the wedding theme you are shooting for.) 

So, how to choose your wedding colors?  

Some brides just KNOW what colors they want, and others have a really difficult time making a decision.  I've come up with several ways to choose wedding colors.  Which one works for you?

1. Consider my post on choosing two wedding words and how your two words can impact your color choice.  Your color can really help the mood you are trying to create for your wedding.

2. Consult your bridesmaids on what color dress they would like, or alternatively, what they would HATE.  Or at least think about their skin tone/hair color when choosing a dress color.  With their preferences in mind, choose a dress.  Then use that dress color as the main color for the wedding, or pick one or more colors that coordinate with that color.  Those colors are your official wedding colors.  Good to Note: all the dresses don't have to be the same color.  I saw a stunning bridal store display with alternating bridesmaid dresses in green and yellow, surrounding a white clad bride.  Talk about a striking combination!  

3. Look at your venue for the ceremony or reception.  If the entire church is salmon colored, don’t pick bright orange for your flowers and bridesmaid dresses.  Talk about clashing!  Gross.  If your reception is at a college, and school colors dominate the room, choose colors that are the same as those, OR that coordinate with those, OR at least don’t clash with those.  The colors of your reception space could really help with the overall design of your reception, IF you work with it and not against it.  For example, if your reception site has navy chairs, go with a color scheme that incorporates navy.  Then there is zero need to buy chair covers and your decorations will really coordinate with the space.  Also, if you are having a destination wedding, such as at the beach, go with “beachy” colors like blue, white, and tan.  Or if your destination is New Orleans, think about the traditional Mardi Gras hues of purple and gold.

4. Consider the season.  Great choices for particular seasons are:

·         Winter 

o       Navy and silver

o       Icy blue and white

o       Crimson and green

o       Green and ivory

o       White and silver and ivory

o       Gold and red

o       Purple

o       Black and white

·         Spring

o       Yellow and green

o       Yellow and red – think tulips, not McDonald's

o       Green – different shades

o       Light blue and green

o       Pastels – think charming English garden bouquet

o       Pink

o       Light blue, yellow, white

·         Summer

o       Bright multi-color – all the brightest summer flowers

o       Red, orange, yellow, green

o       Blue

o       Pink and green

o       Yellow and ivory

o       Grey and any bright accent color

·         Fall

o       Brown and lime green

o       Brown, orange, red/yellow

o       Your football team’s colors

o       Wheat and green/cream/orange/brown

o       Sky blue

o       Purple

o       Red

If you have any more ideas on favorite color combos for a particular season, please leave them in the comments!

Good to Note - the Two-Color-Combo trend is kind of over.  When you want two dominant colors, like say, yellow and blue, don't stick with one bright yellow and one shade of blue for everything from flowers to dresses to bows.  Consider doing a mix of lemon yellow, pale yellow, navy, baby blue, beige, and white.  This really takes your pallette to the next level in terms of sophistication. 

5. Speak with a florist.  Talk to your florist about what kinds of flowers she recommends, especially for the time of year of the wedding.  If she can show you a must-have, fabulous bouquet for your wedding, just go with that color scheme for everything else.  They have bridesmaid dresses in every single color of the rainbow, so I’m sure you’ll be able to coordinate.

6. Is there a color that is meaningful to you and your spouse?  For example, the colors of the school where you met, or maybe your unique engagement rings has emeralds and you want to go with an emerald color scheme.  Which color makes you HAPPY?

7. Head to the paint store with your fiancé and choose a few colors that you both like.  It’s not rocket science!  Maybe you’ll think up some amazing combinations together.  Do you want to go with pale blue, midnight blue, a swampy green, or all three? 

8. Be practical.  Your best friend got married last year and is willing to give you all of her red, black, and white centerpieces, candles, and gorgeous table runners.  The money you will save on decorations might be enough to convince you that red, black, and white are your new favorite colors!

Charming DIY paper and cloth decorations by bride Shannon Reitz Nye gave her late

summer wedding a fun burst of color.  Photo by Eileen Magno Grubb.

Length of Baby and Bridal Showers... A Rant and Some Solutions

The Rant
Baby and Bridal Showers that last longer than 3 hours are unacceptable. Baby and Bridal Showers that last longer than 4 hours are torture. Long showers are tedious and boring. I can’t tell you how many showers I’ve been to where I’m had to force myself to suppress a cry of utter weariness when the hostess announces, “Okay, we have another game to play!”

I want to tell these hostesses, “Showers are not considered “better” than other showers if they last longer.” (They are considered better if the food is fantastic and you serve cocktails.) You don’t win any prizes for hosting the longest shower ever. So please, keep it short and sweet.

If you are planning a baby or bridal shower, please come up with a schedule that allows everything to get done in less than three hours. Actually, two hours seems to be the perfect baby/bridal shower length.

Showers are NOT like other parties. Why? Because there are no men. You can say what you want about the menfolk, but they can make a party more fun. Also, showers are typically held on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, not a “party all night” situation. Women have stuff to do/ errands to run/other parties to go to/kids to watch on their weekends. They don’t have time for a five hour bridal showers. (I attended a bridal shower of this length last weekend, thus igniting my desire to compose this post.) Therefore, shower timelines are not the same as other party timelines. Short is perfectly fine and much appreciated.

How to Shower the Bride in Three Hours or Less

1. Tell guests NOT to wrap presents. Sure people want to see all the gifts that the bride or mommy receives, and they want to see the look of joy when the guest of honor opens the present that was so lovingly selected for them. But, they don’t like to sit through two hours of gift opening! It's as boring as watching CSPAN through the congressional lunch hour. Plus, am I the only one who gets a little guilty watching all that wrapping paper waste go into bags of trash? Trees gave their lives for this cruel end? As a guest at these things, I would rather spend the $6 I spent on that sparkly gift bag and fancy tissue paper on a better gift (or on a mani/pedi for myself.)

So, how to make it clear that guests should NOT wrap? My girlfriends threw me a baby shower and this is poem they wrote on the invitations:

Please don’t wrap your gift,
We’re trying to be “green,”
And leave more time to socialize
With Kate and Poppyseed.

(We called my fetus/inside baby “Poppyseed.” Recognizing that is probably not very universal, you could substitute “With the Mom-to-Be”)

Can I tell you how many guests at the shower LOVED this!?!? One guest either couldn’t read or just loved wrapping paper, so I did receive one wrapped gift at the shower. It was no big deal. As the “showeree” I really enjoyed not unwrapping presents and having all that extra time to sit down and talk to my guests, many of whom traveled pretty far to be there.

So how does a no-wrap shower work, exactly? At my shower, all the guests put their unwrapped gifts on a table. Most had cards attached. Some guests even made cards out of recycled/repurposed items! After all the guests arrived, I went over to the table, picked up a gift, held it up, said whom it was from, said how cute the gift was and thank you, then put the gift back on the table. I went through all the gifts this way and it took ten minutes. TEN MINUTES!! Guests hung out by the gift table before and after to see all the gifts up close.

2. Serve dessert while presents are being opened. If your bride insists on wrapped presents and you want to save some time, serve dessert while she’s in the middle of opening presents. Guests may get pretty bored about halfway through the presents, and some cake and coffee service will give them the sugar and caffeine buzz they need to make it through ‘til the bitter end.

3. LIMIT THE DAMN GAMES. Sometimes it feels like the host is trying to make us play every shower game ever devised. Stop the madness. If you asked a random sample of women what they like least about going to showers, I bet the top two answers would be “watching someone open presents” and “the games.” Hey, I get it, playing games at showers is a tradition. Games can be fun, and they can be good ice-breakers. And let’s face it, people like winning prizes. But as a host, you need to limit the shower to ONE or TWO good games. I can hear you now, “Two games – what will the guests do with themselves?????” Umm, I don’t know, eat, drink, socialize with their friends, look at your charming décor, and enjoy themselves free from the stress of sampling various baby foods or pondering what candy bar is melted in that diaper?

And you thought telling your Mother-in-law that her son impregnanted you would be the most awkward moment of this pregnancy.

PS – DO NOT make guests play that baby shower game where guests have to cut a piece of ribbon to as long as they think the circumference of mom’s belly might be. I know lots of mommies-to-be who are sensitive about their weight while pregnant and just dread that game. And it’s the most awkward feeling in the universe when the guests have to try to wrap their arms around your baby bump to check if their guess was correct.

The Two Words You Need to Plan Your Wedding

Planning a wedding is a big responsibility. It’s arguably the most important day of your life, everyone you know will be there (watching, judging you – at least it might seem that way!), there is a lot of money being spent (possibly even your own money!), and you have to find a way to combine the tastes of both the bride and the groom (unless the groom is a big pushover).

Where to begin??

There are so many “major” decisions that go into a wedding – dress, location, food, entertainment, guest list, and ceremony, to name a few. And you are faced with dozens, maybe hundreds of options to consider for each decision! Wouldn't it be nice to be able to narrow down those options immediately, and consistently be on the same page as your betrothed throughout the wedding planning process?

Here is my tried and true tip - BEFORE making those decisions, I suggest that you and your sweetheart come up with two words that set the tone for every later decision you need to make. It’s incredibly helpful. Let me explain.

Every wedding has a different vibe. Choosing two words – at the outset of planning - to reflect what you want the day to be, advises every detail of the planning. After it’s all over, you will be left thinking, “This is exactly how we hoped our wedding day would feel!”

Here are some two word combination examples: “Classy and Fun,” “Luxurious and Elegant,” “Passionate and Wild,” “Cozy and Intimate,” “Charming and Homey,” “Magical and Traditional,” and “Retro Chic.” Picture each of those weddings in your mind – do you see how each wedding looks different, feels different than the others?

Your two words will help you in every step of the wedding planning process. Using the examples above, let’s consider some wedding choices. You will see that the tone you wish to set for your wedding can be clearly conveyed to the guests.

Stationery:


Is the above invitation from Jessica Meredith Designs an example of “Luxurious and Elegant” or “Cozy and Intimate”?


Is the above invitation from Wedding Paper Divas an example of “Luxurious and Elegant” or “Cozy and Intimate”?


Bands: (these are just to give you an idea – a harpist can be “Fun,” too!! It’s all about your interpretation of your two words.)
Passionate and Wild - A Latin Music group, complete with salsa lessons for the guests.
Classy and Fun – A live band that plays great swing music or rock and roll favorites.
Cozy and Intimate – A jazz quartet
Luxurious and Refined – A harpist
Magical and Traditional – A DJ to play all your family favorites and the best (Disney?) slow dance songs

The problem if you don’t settle on two words is that your overall wedding vibe could end up being “Confusing and Odd” or “Messy and Unplanned.” Such as having a black tie afternoon ceremony on the beach. To me, that scenario indicates a couple who couldn’t decide if they wanted “Carefree and Romantic” or “Formal and Traditional.” And who suffered? The guests who had to wear flip flops with their rental tux in the midday heat.

Alright, so how on earth do we choose our two words?

First, I would recommend that you sit down with a few bridal magazines and bridal idea books from the library. I know that many of you are thinking, “Duh, I have been doing that since our third date.” But this time, mark a few things you like and then…. SHOW THE IDEAS TO YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE. Yikes! Your fiancé might have very divergent ideas from yours and you need to know that going in. Believe it or not, this day is for both of you. Wouldn’t you hate to get your heart set on “Grand and Frilly” only to find out that he would rather have a really small wedding and can only think about the time he overdosed on Pepto-bismol every time he sees pink? So, get an idea of both your tastes before committing to your two words.

Second, I would say if there is a wedding detail you both know you have to have, that one detail might dictate your two words. For example, if you know of an amazing converted airplane hangar that you both desperately want for your reception venue, you might start thinking of words like Vintage, Unique, or Uplifting. It’s pretty obvious already that words such as Intimate and Traditional won’t fit your wedding.

Going with the airplane hangar idea, let’s say you decided to go with “Unique and Uplifting.” So, what kinds of wedding details would fit those two words? Maybe non-traditional invitations, such as making the invites look like boarding passes. Instead of traditional rice being thrown at the couple, have people throw paper airplanes. What’s more Uplifting and Unique than having a gospel choir sing at the church ceremony? Maybe the bride and groom could toast each other and the bridal party, instead of receiving toasts. Think of some Uplifting and Unique theme colors – maybe light blue, yellow, or gold. (Certainly not black.) Do you see how the two words help you make decisions and bring a focus to your planning?

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Whether you are a “Sweet and Whimsical” or “Romantic and Sophisticated” couple, I hope your wedding day will be a shining memory throughout your lives.